Wicked Wordsmith

What Does Your Belly Button Taste Like?

Today I was reading a romance novel and got to the steamy sex scene.

The woman is all hot and bothered as the guy is running his tongue across her body. He gets to her waist and makes certain to delve his tongue into her belly button (which, of course, is situated just perfectly in her flat tummy, which is sunken because she is lying down in ecstasy).

This made me wonder exactly how a belly button tastes. I cannot be all that good, because sometimes, belly buttons smell. Or they have some weird waxy liquid in them with the scent of rotten garbage.

For some reason, fictional characters never run into stinky belly buttons. These outies and innies always taste great and are situated just perfectly on the body. Whether appetizer, dinner or dessert, the belly button is a harbinger of steamy sex in today's books.

In real life, of course, we have to deal with stinky, waxy belly buttons, which probably don't taste that great or entice us to linger in the stomach area.

What is the cause of the stinky belly button?

According to this Associated Content article, it can be water or baby powder trapped inside or stomach odors leaking out (YUCK!). If you want to control it, then use deoderant or rubbing alcohol. 

Can you imagine your protagonist dipping his tongue into his lady's belly button only to taste deoderant?

Now THAT would be interesting.

20 Years to Write a Novel

Writing is like bloodletting. It is horribly painful to do, but you MUST do it.

Today author J.R. Hauptman, a former airline pilot, talks in detail about his journey to publish The Target at Murder by Four.  It was a two-decade process that involved a ton of rejection, but continued dedication to the story and to himself as an author.

Relax or Multitask?

For years, I was a multitasking queen. I was organized, efficient and knew how to keep a meeting moving - though unfortunately I was usually one of the schmucks forced to sit through the droning of a boss who enjoyed hearing him/herself talk. 

I picked up the skills fast as a journalist and they just stuck. As a reporter, you have to be able to handle several projects while juggling stupid demands from (usually) idiot editors who don't have a clue.

But I digress...

Of course a good thing like organization cannot last. I got burned out after a while - and I moved after I lost my job - so my entire existence changed. It really hasn't been the same since. Neither have my organization skills.

May and June were Hell Months. Everything bottlenecked. Things weren't working out right. It was incredibly stressful. I decided then that I would do whatever it took to get organized again, so I could have time to write and RELAX. (If my grill and I don't get at least one day together a week, we both get cranky.)

Just how to do that, I'm still not quite sure. I've tried a few things, threw out some ideas and thought of new ones. I hope to hit a successful formula soon - one that does not entail murder to get some peace and quiet.

I did have a multitask giggle moment today when I saw the article, "Americans Push Multitasking to New Heights," right after I read a post I found on Twitter titled, "5 Ways to Spend Less Time at Work." (Multitasking should keep us out of the office, but it usually just leads to more work - especially when your boss realizes you can do five things at once.)

The latter has a few terrific tips that can be adopted for the busy author who has to keep a strict schedule to meet deadlines.  

What are you doing to stay organized?

Finding the Inner Writer in Me

About six months ago (I refuse to think it was longer), I kept trying - and failing - to get into my manuscript DECEIVED.

It's a serial-killer-escapes-prison thing, with a hot romance erupting alongside the hunt for this Very Bad Man. I love serial killer stuff - always have. My personal reference library is filled with strange and wonderful texts on the mind of serial killers, the FBI, true case books and anything forensic-related.

But it seemed, perhaps, that I was tired of the genre. I'd been reading it for years, but the last few years I'd added a plethora of crime dramas to my evening musings. Law and Order, Criminal Minds, CSI: Las Vegas topped the list of must-watches each week.

As I watched, the storylines became even more predictable than before. I had the killer down pat within the first five minutes, and spent the other 40 (ax commercials) watching how the writers finally built up to the whodunit.

I found the same trends in the novels as well. No idea is original, but it felt like today's authors were mimicking old stock instead of finding creative twists to make stories their own.

When I tried to get into DECEIVED - about a third written - I just could not do it. The characters felt stale, the plot contrived and it just seemed like too much work to start over on something I'd worked on off and on for a year.

Of course, I immediately pulled out the whip and castigated myself for not finished the MS, and for lacking the creative courage to strip it bare and start over - or to have the gumption to even try. I felt like such a failure. I questioned by ability to write fiction. I wondered if I truly, truly wanted this dream I'd had since I was a child, writing fairytales with weirdly dark beings.

One day, I decided to sit down and find my muse again.

I thought about people with child-like innocence.  I decided to figure out what inspired me as a child so much so that I would sit for hours, drawing pictures and making up stories to go along with them.

The answers were immediate and startling:

Dragons, warlocks, unicorns, magic, good witch, bad witch, strange lands, shifting shadows, bad things hiding in my closet, creatures not of this world.

Everything and anything to do with fantasy - and mystery - but not necessary mystery grounded in stark reality.

It was a serious wake up call for me as an author. I had added a few paranormal twists to my stories - like psychics - but nothing with serious world building.

This made me realize that I needed a change of genre - even just for a bit. I won't ever be rid of mystery or romance in my stories, but maybe I can add a dash of magic to make my writing world that much more fun and delectable. 

Over the next few weeks, I plan to pull out DECEIVED and see what I can salvage, but my main focus for writing will be on an urban fantasy. Ironically, it isn't the one I thought of a few months ago, but a new one that seems to "work." The idea is much more original than the one I had before and it is screaming louder than the other idea.

If I want to get rid of the voices in my head, I'll need to hurry up and write it.

Dreaming Up a Scene

For the first time in a very long time, I dreamed of a scene for a new book.

This character just came to me a few days ago, her eyes haunted, her lonely soul calling out to me to tell her story. I don't know her very well right now, but I could easily envision her in a few very key scenes for an urban fantasy novel.

Last night, the unnamed woman was seized by black magic and, after she healed, saved the life of the man will soon be her mate. The scene was so real, I could practically feel her pain, the sizzle of the deadly magic in her veins, the terror of watching her nearly die.

It was amazing. It was incredible. And today, I MUST write out this scene!

I remember once, author Sharon Sala talking at a conference about how she allowed her subconscious to "dream" scenes - particularly those that were tough to write for whatever reason. 

I thought to myself, Geesh, I wish I could dream up the scenes and write them fresh. That would totally rock.

Before last night, I'd dreamed of scenes, but most times couldn't remember most of it when I woke up, or the scenes were more disjointed than I thought when I started to write them down. This time, though, I'm hoping it will be different. I hope (fingers crossed) that this scene remains just as vivid - and coherent - as it seemed to be last night.

{Art found at VoiceYourself.com}

Why My Writing Days Tank

And I wonder why I don't get any writing done?

As I sat, Dee Whompus (She'll womp-n-knot-on-you if she's in a mood.) gets up and stretches from her cushy place on my office chair.

Oh, did I mention that I am frequently relegated to the very hard, white folding chair when my cats are in the office? Oh yes. They walk around me, claw me, step on the keyboard, block the screen and do whatever they need to get my butt out of the chair so they can plomp down into it, snuggling deeply until they are asleep.

Wicked Thoughts and So-So Stories

Writing erotica and romance isn't easy.

I struggle not so much with stories and plots and characters as personal convictions on if it is right to pen these stories or not.

Growing up in a conservative household (I'm still conservative in politics) sometimes make it difficult to finish stories. Of course, having my mother constantly say I'm going to write for the Christian market if its the last think she ever does doesn't help, either.

In my critique groups, I was always known as the one who took the sexual risks (in fiction). I didn't hesitate to write a hot, steamy love scene if it somehow moved along the plot or brought my characters to a new level. I'm not into sex for sex' sake. I'm for sexual realism in fiction. As a Christian, I know sex happens before marriage. I know people like to get hinky and kinky and down with it. Fiction writers should be able to express that.

I think, for me, fiction is not realistic if it doesn't' have some sort of intimacy. I find Alison Kent's work a sexual overload and could not finish her stuff, but I do like subtle innuendo - when it is written correctly. (Victoria Laurie is a terrific example of romance that works without a ton of explicit nookie.) Hot sex works in several instances, but only when it doesn't overtake the plot, like in Jory Strong's novels. 

I've read several books sans sex and the two characters never connect. There is no ping moment where they are all hot and bothered for each other, or they discover they have some sort of connection beyond a physical attracts. They are just two cardboard characters who never quite reach a point beyond acquaintances.

Finding a good balance between the plot and the romantic relationship is key to story enjoyment for me.

So how do you connect two characters in a novel to make their romance real to readers? 

Here are a few links to Web sites that want to help:

Writing-World.com

Romance Factor

Laurie Sanders of Black Velvet Seduction does a terrific course on Deep POV that authors in any genre would appreciate. She sets everything up in a blog, where you log in and take the course at your leisure.

What do you do as an author to connect your characters? When your characters aren't compatible, what do you?

Back in the Saddle... And Lovin' It

It's been months since I have put pen to paper to write something I WANTED to.

For the past six months - no, maybe longer - I've furiously types blog posts for clients, launched Market My Novel, wrote a minibook for a client on social media, tried to wrap up the Market My Novel book (won't even go there right now), posted interviews and guest blogs at Book Addict, rounded up new contributors for Pop Syndicate, wrote book, TV and DVD reviews, and took care of four beautiful kittens (all females) a stray Mama was so kind to drop on my already cat-ladden doorstep.

Whew!

By the end of my days, I could not even THINK about looking at the computer. And since my thoughts race when I write, I usually to need to type them out. (Pen and paper went out with my passion for journalism.)

Of course, my idea juice was seriously lacking like salt in an over-zealous runner. I had zero creative ideas for my fiction and could not even think about picking up Deceived again (As you can see from the unfinished novel blog).

After a few contracts fizzled, my workload changed dramatically and I found I had a lot more time than before. Trying to get myself organized to write, though, wasn't easy. 

Getting Started

Over the past few weeks, I've thought about writing - but haven't done much with it. When I first went to the gym in early 2000, I spent three months prepping my brain for it. Each day I thought about the gym until, when I finally got a membership, it was part of me, in my daily thinking - a natural fit to my day.

I'm doing the same thing for fiction writing. I spent $45 on some terrific blank notebooks on the Barnes & Nobel clearance rack and bought some expensive ink pens I really like, but rarely buy, to use with them.

I put one notebook next to the bed and every night, I wrote ideas. The first night was dismal. I wrote one sentence, then doodles and tried to think of something. Eventually, I fell asleep.

Each night, I sat with that notebook and tried to think of ideas - other than the ones screaming inside of my head the past few months - that would jog my creativity. You know, that one idea that gets you so jazzed you cannot write about it fast enough.

Two weeks later, the ideas are flowing like water.

Last night, I hit on a protagonist that I really like - an urban fantasy chick with unimaginable powers.

This is a far cry from the erotica suspense stories I've worked on in the past, but it moves me in a way those stories don't right now.

I won't give up on the serial killer story with a psychic, or my detective mystery series, but I think magick is what I need right now to challenge my brain and take me back to my childhood, when I loved unicorns and demons and trolls and things that went bump every night underneath my bed.

Things Change

Of course, as soon as I started this effort, my schedule changed. I have some more projects that will take up more of my time.

You know what?

I don't care. If it means losing a few hours of sleep, I'm going to WRITE. This has been my passion since I was a child and I'm ashamed to be nearly 35 without more than a short story publication credit under my belt. I always think if I had a husband who supported my career, it would be different, but single girls CAN do it better.

What ways to do you stay organized? How do you get a jump on creativity? What motivates you?

Leave a comment.

BAD IDEA Launches Writers' Lab

The UK-based site BAD IDEA, launched a writing community where authors can get feedback from their peers. The site accepts short nonfiction entries. Members of the site can rate or comment on them. The lab also offers editorial feedback - but be prepared before you enter The Butcher Shop. It's a no-holds-barred editfest.

The Mug Says It All

This site shows just how a life of crime can wreak havoc on a good-looking woman. Check it out. Think about how different the woman looks in the first mug shot and the last. Consider how a life of crime would impact your character. Would it show in the wrinkles on their face, and in their dead eyes? Is their conscience so dead that it has no impact at all?

For each of your characters, think about their physical attributes the more time their are processed by the cops. Use this knowledge for your story - even if they are not criminals. You might be surprised where it takes you.