Wicked Wordsmith

EDITING SERVICES & BOOK DOC’S (omit: THAT ARE) WORTH YOUR DIME by Robert W. Walker

How do you know you’re talking to someone who can truly help you with your query letter, your synopsis, your outline, and your apostrophes?—someone who knows the difference between an outline and a synopsis, for instance. How do you know if you are dealing with a professional book doctor and not a mere butcher? How can you negotiate a good, safe deal with a developmental editor? Or a proofreader? And what’s the difference between the two? And is there wiggle room for negotiation?

First off, determine if the person you are working with will do your outline, synopsis, and first chapters or first 30 pages at a cut rate in order to SEE if he or she and you can work together on a complete project. This “introductory rate” is how I get to know the nature of the project and how the client-writer gets to know my capabilities and how much I can contribute to his/her manuscript.

Going into a “partnership” with a proofreader is one thing, a developmental editor or book doctor capable of helping you with copyediting as well is quite another. We don’t hear the term book doctor much anymore (sorry if I sound like Andy Rooney here). I suspect few people use the term book doctor nowadays because so many so-called “book doctors” turned out to be charlatans simply out to fleece the so easily charmed writer. The term developmental editor is applied to a person who is willing and able to go beyond mere proofing for grammatical, spelling, usage, errors—same as book doctor; one who takes the next major step to provide you with answers to structure, beginnings, endings, middle-ground slumps, and the larger issues of logic, sequence of events, setting, muscling up setting and character, where to turn a telling paragraph into one of dialogue and action, and so much more. Therefore, know what you are paying for up front. You should not be paying “developmental editing” prices for a “proofreading” of your work. Your sister the English teacher could proofread your work at no charge.

Ask the question of your prospective editor: “Does your fee of 1.50 per page include developmental editing, or are we talking proofreading only?” Or: “Does your 2.00 per page include legitimate doctoring of the script? Wherein the ‘good doctor’ actually point out various shortcomings in the script? And do you provide solutions to the serious problems that might be keeping the book from being published?” A developmental going-over will clearly mark the pattern errors in your writing—the one, two, or three most serious errors (sins) you are making and making repeatedly. And if you can be shown this in the introductory package, you may then decide to do a complete rewrite on your own and so you don’t—at this time—need any editor, proofreader or developmental doctor. You can learn a great deal by having a truly good developmental editor go over those first thirty pages.

A developmental editor or doc does not rewrite your book, but he or she may suggest whole rewrites of whole scenes from a fat, unappetizing “block” of telling information to redo as a three-way conversation. He or she will indicate where you don’t want to use a passive construction (passive verb), which might require a total rewrite of a sentence. A paragraph riddled with the word WAS may not be apparent to you, but it will be to an editor, agent, or your book doctor. A developmental editor may point out that you have begun your book in the wrong place! That the true opening should be the second or even the third scene or chapter for that matter. I once urged one of my clients to start on page 70 and “fill in” what has happened before that as quick flash-thoughts from the main character. The real action began on page 70. I have advised others to cut whole chapters that added nothing of substance to the novel. At the same time, issues of format might come up along with too many commas in the wrong places, or too little use of commas.

So to be brief and to the point, to improve your dialogue get thee to a developmental editor. To get the mechanics right—commas, semi-colons, full colons, etc—get yourself a proofreader who should be charging a lot less. To get the benefit of both grammatical correctness and developmental or structural correctness, logic, sequence, dialogue, setting, characterization, voice, etc—be sure to ask if the service is for “developmental” editing and “proofreading”. Most developmental editors worth their salt do both for the price they charge.

Is it worth your dime? Absolutely if you are working with a real pro and one who works with you on a timely basis. You can learn about said doc or developmental or proof editor by negotiating a deal for the first thirty pages or your ancillary material—query letter, outline, synopsis and a chapter. You find out early on with little commitment of time or money on both sides whether or not the two of you are compatible and capable of working on a long-term project.

I do editing on the side, and I have had clients whose novels are not novels but treatises on how the author has categorically proven the existence of God. I had one novel that lacked ACTION of any sort as its main character was SO rooted in ITS setting; it was 300 pages from the point of view of a Bonsai tree, a tree that, for me, lacked character as well. These are clients some twenty years ago, so I’m not too fearful of being sued here for my comments. I have been an editor and professor of creative writing now for forty years.

I am currently editing a retired chemistry professor and engineer, whose textbook on how the universe and mankind came into being explores the relationship between the two. I just finished two wonderfully wrought mystery novels, one from a Chicago lawyer, a legal thriller, and I can definitely say that I so much more enjoy doing developmental editing on a suspense thriller or mystery novel than any other sort of project, but I also do my very best for all of my clients. All of them appreciate the “introductory” plan of sending me their first three chapters or 30 pages at the lower rate of a dollar and a half per page before THEY decide and I decide if we can work together or not at the price of two dollars per page thereafter.

The Knife Services, if you or a loved one is in need of a serious developmental editor, can be got to via my website at: www.RobertWalkerbooks.com

Happy Writing All, Rob Walker
www.HarperCollins.com
www.Echelonpress.com
www.FictionWise.com

The Most Important - and Most Compelling - Short-Short Story of Your Career as a Selling Author by Robert W. Walker

Catalog Copy:
General synopsis of book (no more than 290 words) See example below.
Title: DEAD ON
Author:  ROBERT W. WALKER

Quote: “Walker’s prose cuts like a garrote; he is a master at the top of his game.”  —JA Konrath, author of Whiskey Sour, Dirty Martini

Synopsis:
Private Eye Marcus Rydell is fighting to keep his hold on life in modern day Atlanta, Georgia.  He is a detective struggling with suicidal tendencies due to his having been disgraced and having lost all he holds dear four years earlier.  Marc’s suicidal gun to mouth is only stopped by his cop’s instinct and the promise brought to him by Dr. Kat Holley.  She makes him an offer at the point of a gun, one he can’t refuse, for it actually provides him with a reason to live in the form of vengeance.  Rydell sets aside his plans of suicide to chase a killer who, four years previously, hurt both Kat and him in immeasurable ways.  The hunt takes them to the darkest regions of the Atlanta night and the Georgia forests where the monster they are chasing turns on them amid the spectacular Blue Ridge Lake region.  They hunt a psycho Rambo type who is hunting them.  The killer bundles people into square blocks, breaking every major bone, packages them up, hangs them on a tree, builds a fire below them and they die a horrible, torturous death.  He has eluded police and feds for four years.  Marc and Kat, who fall in love along the way, along with a black German shepherd named Paco must end the maniac’s life before he ends theirs.

Cover thought:  Cast in blue, an idyllic lake with moonlight reflecting off its center.  At right a lovely modern log home where warm glow of light makes shadows of a man, a woman, and a black dog.  At left a stand of trees, a small fire glowing below a human “package” dangling from one tree branch.  Body has legs, arms, torso and head\face crammed and bound into a square the size of the torso.  Perhaps another figure, the killer, peering through binoculars at the couple and dog at the house.  These figures could all be silhouettes in style of flat black cut outs.  Maybe a twirling abandoned boat on the water.

Author Bio:  Robert W. Walker lives in Charleston, West Virginia with his RN and author wife Miranda and, two daughters, two sons, a dog, a lizard, and too many bills.  Rob loves traveling and sharing his hard-won lessons on writing via his online Write to Sell class.  Contact rob at www.robertwwalkerbooks.com

This example is straight from my latest sale, some 44 in all now counting my E-books.  For more examples of “copy” or “pitches” for books see all the copy written for these at www.FictionWise.com

If and when you become proficient at clearly and concisely describing your novel in 125 words or less, then this short-short about your novel can be used in the proposal, in the oral pitch, and anywhere else that it makes sense.  To get help on this take my 3-Hour, 60 dollar online course WRITE TO SELL during which time I will look at the opening 30 pages of your novel.  Part of the course is the work you will do – read certain of my articles forwarded and the opening 30 pages of DEAD ON.

Simply contact me at inkwalk at sbcglobal dot net, and let’s get to work on your MS post haste.  I’ve never had a complaint save the one guy who called me a butcher.  You got a story to tell, you got guts, so next step is to share it with Robert W. Walker, the book shaper.

Robert W. Walker is the author of more than 40 novels including the 2006 hit [City for Ransom] from HarperCollins. Find him on his blog or on his Web site.

How Does Health & Stress Play a Role in Fiction Writing? By Robert W. Walker

Health and stress are like chicken and egg, hand and glove as one is so closely linked with the other. The health of the author and the reader are crucial to the process. Lose your health and the first interest to go is sex followed by reading. (Laugh track here.)

Seriously, a loss of the ability to concentrate, focus, draw on memory is devastating to the creative process and reading is a creative process as well as writing. Too much stress bad things result all round. Too little stress...well isn't it like blood pressure and so many things? Everything in moderation.

So health and stress are crucial to reading and writing, and inside the story, characters also battle health issues and stress at every turn. In fact, the stress level for the typical fictional person would likely kill any real human being. Imagine being at the stress level of an Indiana Jones for a day. The stress level and problems an author creates to plague his creation are crucial to a story, because in essence every working story is a war.

One side wants X, side two wants Y, and they stand in one another's way (goal). It is stressful to chase a killer, to race toward a goal, to attempt to achieve but the brass ring is just out of reach. The old admonition is to get your character up a tree, then soak him with rain, pelt him with rocks, hit the limb he's on with lightning, have the limb careen to the earth where you've placed a family of bears or cannibals who're awaiting the poor sap.

Any stress in the cartoon version of Tarzan? Disney films even for children have to carry conflict, or else there's no story. Conflict and overcoming conflict is the essence of story. Stress, conflict, tension...the high wire upon which the story charcter walks and fails or prevails. It's the job of the author to establish bedrock characteristics (DNA) in a Tom, Dick, or Harry, and then to challenge these rock-hard, supposedly unshakable traits. You can't let a character rest in a state of bliss (not for long anyway). Stress and health play a major role in the creative process indeed.

Robert W. Walker is the author of more than 40 novels including the 2006 hit [City for Ransom] from HarperCollins. Visit his blog at www.robertwwalker.blogspot.com, or his website at www.robertwwalker.com.

Reprinted with permission. Thanks, Robert!

10 Deadly Sins... of Writing by Robert W. Walker

1.           Being unclear.  There are many, many ways to be unclear, and those who are unclear die many, many a writing death, whereas those who strive for clarity die but once…or seldom.

2.           Using pronouns badly as in overuse of words that are generic and non-specific as in They…He…She…we\us\them\these…him\his…her and it…These are universal tools with no meaning unless clearly referring to John, Tom, Tess, or the Lamborghini or the Mustang.  It was a nice day.  It is a great car.

3.           Using pronouns indiscriminately as in Mary told her mother that she was fat and ugly.  Or for example:  If you don’t want children harmed by firearms in the home then remove them from the home.

4.           Using ME for I…or Him for He…or Her for She.  I would never harm me.  And ME is never capitalized or placed BEFORE the verb.  Neither is Him or Her or Whom for that matter.  Who did what to whom?  The lower case forms of the pronouns always follow the verb…and are often preceded by a preposition such as TO…For…With whom are you speaking?  Questions such as this do not follow the normal Subject +Verb+ Object order of a ‘normal’ English sentence.

5.           Prepositions are often unnecessary, especially back-to-back as in he stood up against the wall….or she backed up into the post.  You can cut the word UP from both sentences and it is still clear.  Prepositions mean PRE-position…a word that is in pre-position of the subject or more likely the object, and all prepositions point us in a ‘direction’ as in down, below, beneath, around, over, above, through, up, to, for, from….Too many prepositional phrases in a sentence can add to confusion and lack of clarity as in:   The ten members of the school board who voted against the measure within minutes of its proposal had already made up their minds.  MORE CLEARLY:  Ten board members who immediately voted against the measure had already made up their minds.

6.           Decide on the Verb TENSE immediately with the first verb in your sentence, paragraph, story or article and become a SLAVE to that TENSE.  Tense means Now in which all verbs have an S on them or THEN in which all verbs have an ED or Past Time Feel to them.  Fall\s is now, Fell is then.  Example:  Markie ran to first base, slid into second, rounded third, and headed for home…OR  Markie runs to first base, slides into second, rounds third, and heads for home.

7.           Subjects must AGREE with their Verbs…as in:  Mike likes to eat well.  Mike like to eat well = subject-verb DISagreement.  Using pronouns it gets a bit more confusing.  They like…while he likes.  Jack and Jill like to eat well, but Jack alone likes to eat well.  The S – no S on a verb depends on the NUMBER of the subject.  The team members ARE healthy.  One team member IS healthy.

8.           Changing the focus from the subject of a piece of writing to oneself.  Shifting from 3^rd person, speaking say of the problems of being a Freshman in College to speaking in 1^st person about my problems, my issues in being a Freshman in College.

9.           Changing the time frame of a piece of writing without warning.  We were in the past, now we are in the present, now the future…all without any transitional words like NOW, THEN, In the future…

10.      Failing to signal a major shift in place; we began speaking of the USA but now we are somehow in Argentina or Chili and nobody told us….and finally, define your terms.  If you are using special-to-science language, or say language only members of the Elite Death Squad of the Squid-billies might understand, you may need to DEFINE a number of words or terms or phrases used by this elite squad.

Robert W. Walker is the author of more than 40 novels, including the 2006 hit City for Ransom from  HarperCollins. Visit his blog at www.robertwwalker.blogspot.com for more of his insights on writing.

"Learning" to Write by Robert W. Walker

(Reprinted with permission. Thanks, Robert!)

Q: As a writer, how does intelligence of writing help you? In short, how did you come across your knowledge of writing novels?

A: Anyone can learn to learn, or rather take steps to learn more about a topic--any topic. I learn best via doing, as in teaching. You teach it, you learn it. The more a writer comes to own knowledge, the higher his or her WQ--writing quotient.

IQ tests are indicators of potential, but it is motivation that drives us to learn the lessons of such things as research, analyzing data, accurately reporting or using information in a story. As for learning about the creative process, whether it's in writing or another art form, one gains experience only in doing, not unlike shooting baskets long enough will teach you how to shoot. When you practice to become a wordsmith, there're years of apprenticeship involved. Some of us began when just children. Being born as a silver-tongued genius is rare. Most writers must work to overcome failings, stuttering starts, self-conscious writings, and a slew of problems. In fact, writing is in a real sense all about self-analysis. Only after much study and painting oneself into corners and many missteps does a writer see the path to sentences that sizzle, snap, crackle, and pop or just plain sing. Lessons such as "if you can't make it sing, at least make it clear" come hard won only after gobs and gobs of hard work and fun and play with words and language.

Working with words on a daily basis is the only way I know of how to improve oneself as a writer. With each new novel or short story I write, I am reminded of lessons already learned and that I need to learn more; the more you know, the more you need to know. Only through hard work, determination, persistence, and sometimes pestilence over long years in the field do you easily pick the fruit. If you can't get thee to a 'nunnery' or a 'university' where they will sweat you in a writing program in bootcamp fashion, then create your own rigorous program, and if you make it last as long as I did, four years, it might take. I would not ever trade in my PQ--persistence quotient for any amount of IQ. There is also the little matter of MO--motivation quotient. Let us not forget the EQ--experience quotient either.

This has all been directed at the author\writer\creator, but intelligence and knowledge play a huge role in character-building as well, not to mention reader intelligence and knowledge. Otherwise good characters who represent their careers and fields in many books seem lacking in knowledge of said field or career. A truly great character is partially great because she is so clearly knowledgeable (Ahab knew his whales!) in her field as with a medical examiner or detective. As for intelligent readers, they are the ones who both understand what we writers write and love us for it no matter who we have to kill off, no matter how tough things get, knowing we must 'sacrifice' for the good of the story.

Robert W. Walker is the author of more than 40 novels, including the 2006 hit City for Ransom from  HarperCollins. Visit his blog at www.robertwwalker.blogspot.com for more of his insights on writing.

The Case for Action Verbs by Robert W. Walker

I say the mind is the laziest muscle we have in our bodies - okay, organ if you want to get technical - and it lazes its way back into its lazy comfort zone of doing what’s easiest. It takes effort to IMAGINE what a character is doing - with his hands, his feet, his body, his eyes, the things he pulls out of his pockets, what brand of tobacco he chews (Red Man?) – than to simply toss in the he said or she said speech tag.

Same with passive writing. It is far, far easier and you are DONE with it when you TELL it instead of SHOW it. The mind must be whipped and forced to come up with the showing because it wants to cozy up on the mental couch of passivity.

By the same token, we only respond to what we can SEE. And we can’t see or even define in any way other than in grammatical terms what the passive verb means...whereas we all have a VISUAL component to active verbs. Science tells us we learn things when we can see them. We respond to what we can see, even if only in the mind. Einstein said he could not have come up with his theories if he had not first SEEN them in his mind. This is the secret.

Sure, Will Shakespeare needed his form, but he was also VISUAL. We as authors working with black ink marks on a page instead of a stage, we must work harder to create the visual dialogue and the visual message.

Robert W. Walker is the author of more than 40 novels, including the 2006 hit City for Ransom from  HarperCollins. Visit his blog at www.robertwwalker.blogspot.com for more of his insights on writing.